Feeling Lazy? Help Is On The Way

Medical journalist Ray Moynihan, whose insights appear regularly in the British Medical Journal, reports this week that a group of Australian scientists have identified a new condition called motivational deficiency disorder or MoDeD (pronounced Moe-dee-dee). It’s another word for extreme laziness.

According to these physicians, as many as one in five Australians may be afflicted with MoDeD, whose symptoms are “overwhelming and debilitating apathy.” In the most extreme cases, people with MoDeD lose the will to breathe.

If you find yourself among the millions of people unable to leave the couch, help may be on the horizon. A small Australian biotech company called HealthTec has developed a new drug called indolebant, which is already in Phase II trials. According to Moynihan’s report, indolebant is a cannabinoid CB1 receptor antagonist. One participant became an investment banker on the drug.

Gentle readers, this is not some put on taken from the Onion. It’s just one of the examples that will be highlighted at a conference on disease mongering that will be held in Australia next month. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Restless Leg Syndrome, now MoDeD. They’ll have lots to discuss.

Given all the attention to the lack of motivation among U.S. males (the current movie “Failure to Launch” starring Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew McConaughey is not, as I first suspected when hearing the advertising campaign, about erectile dysfunction), HealthTec will undoubtedly find a receptive market here if it gets Food and Drug Administration approval for indolebant.

But don’t be surprised if the doctors hyping this supposed disorder are on HealthTec’s payroll. The physicians who first described MoDeD are.

April Fools!